Can you be a former escapee? Seems like if you escape prison that’s a laurel you get to rest on for life.

Things must be going fucking great in some alternate universe. Lucky assholes.

I think one of the (many fucked up) reasons this story is still able to command so much fascination is that it is, against all odds, still unsolved.

I totally understand the Freudian slip, but I think you mean vial.

One valium per person is the new ACA replacement plan, that and one vile of cyanide.

Not enough vomit in the world.

That Asshole: my inauguration is going to be the yugest, most glamorous star-studded amazing event ever. All the biggest names are calling me up, begging to perform for me and my supporters!

He’ll find a way to do both

Is rotten Orange going to brag that he has the bestests acts in a world for his inauguration, or is going to cry that no one loves him???

I came here to say that. This is how a person issues a sincere apology.

Yep. That’s how it’s done, none of this “I’m sorry if you were offended” BS.

An excellent apology. Good.

I’m a bit sick of stuff like this. For the record, I’m to the left of Sanders and don’t agree with him on everything but he’s still done much better things than many Dems in Congress. Why no shut up Cory Booker, who recently sold out one of the few bills that could’ve given us more affordable drugs because he was…

So ...

Hillary Clinton ran an unsuccessful campaign, but to say she ran a bad campaign is disingenuous.

How dare you bring facts into this.

Edit: Ironically, this probably costs more than $2k.

-10 points to the first asshole that thinks they’re clever by posting up a picture of a bicycle or pair of shoes.

i’m trying to buy a house right now.

Seriously at this point how the fuck is this real life. It’s too much to absorb. Like my new reality has shifted too quickly and I can’t fucking handle it. If I had the money I seriously would just go and herd cows at this point. The world has gone fucking mad.