I want honest, unrestrained, maybe not that sober Barack.. Is that too much to ask?

I really respect President Obama, but I think one of his challenges is assuming that everybody is as measured and reasonable as he is.

I voted for Hillary Clinton.

He’s happy to see someone wearing a wig is in the White House.

I have to vent. There’s a man on the same floor of me in my office who is a big Trump donor and a potential new member of his administration. Giuliani was just 10 feet away from me waiting to meet with him. How the hell do I stay professional at work?! My instinct is to bum rush him on sight. We’re talking Kill Bill…

Imagine getting into this relationship for Botox and Gucci and somehow ending up here. I pity her, to a point.

I don’t know if this fits, but my grandmother implicated me in her lie. She smoked Cool Menthols. Horrible terrible gross cigarettes. Back when I smoked, I was a Marlboro guy, but I had quite for years.

Back in 1971 when I was in 8th grade, I told my parents I was going to an Alice Cooper concert with a friend. When queried about the artist, I responded that “Alice did mellow folk music, like Judy Collins.” The next day, there on the front page of the Houston Post, was a pic of Alice in full makeup, shirtless,…

Yeah, Clinton is the shady in waiting to the queen.

“You like soup? I bet you like soup.”

This is less scary and just paranormal..

I’m trying to wrap my head around the fact that the people quoted have the last name Nfinger.

Leave the mental qualities of much of the flying public out of this. They aren’t nuts. They are just the other half that balances ‘above average.’

During an election season pelvic exam a few years ago, my gyno said of my uterus, “Hm, you seem to be leaning a little to the right.” The phrasing startled me and I blurted out, “Well, that’s the only part of me that does!” And that’s how I ended up having a political discussion with my doctor while she was wrist deep…

I agree that we need opposition parties. I disagree that the current GOP is the way to go. In my wildest dreams the GOP takes the long view, and uses this as an opportunity. If they were to do everything they can to stab the rancid base in the back, if they can literally alienate them as hard as possible there’s a…

seriously internet can we get a vine of the baby mouse on the vine?

Do you think maybe some people say they are undecided because 1. They like the attention and feel smart or 2. Do not want to admit who they are voting for. I can see, if he comes from a conservative area and a conservative family, it could be really, really hard to come out and say you support Clinton.

Mein Kampf

Glitzy Vegas vacations?

Yeah, I’m old compared to the kids these days. But my personal, general test for if a model is beyond the crop of instagram, wealthy family mediocrity we currently have is “Would this model fit in doing the Freedom 90 music video?” If you can’t move and own the camera the way those models did, then yeah, I’m not…