Kickoffs should be eliminated from along with the rest of football.

Putting clothespins on power cords to save money by keeping electricity from escaping as waste is one of the stupidest fucking things I’ve ever heard. If people who believe this have kids that go to your kid’s school, you need to find your kid a new school.

But he also killed the guy who killed Hitler! What a dick!

Go clean your room, virgin!

Jesus Christ look up E.B. White and dissecting frogs, asshole.

You just can’t cancel games because they are pointless!

Getting old sucks

Mookie Betts. 

I bet they were happy when Drago killed Apollo in Rocky IV.

This is like losing a ten dollar bill one day but then the next day you see a dog in a motorcycle sidecar wearing his own dog goggles.

The aliens’ moms are also called Martha.

Brawling in an elevator actually counts as a doctoral thesis at ASU.

There is never a time I think Ohio can’t get any worse. 

if ya can’t keep it in your pants, keep it in the family.

Please don’t make me explain the joke.

no. its garbage. this is not a good knife at all.

no. its garbage. this is not a good knife at all.