Take your time, hurry up? The choice is yours. Don’t be late.

*chef’s kiss* That one was sharp and to the fucking point. You win the internet for me today!

That “great strategist” lost the only war he ever fought.

Uhm.

Also even if you are anti-abortion you should be fucking horrified at the idea of-

His tweet single handedly lost multiple contracts, impacting the bottom line of the corporation. That’s generally considered a fireable offense. You’d think the people complaining about “difference of opinion” would be celebrating the success of the Capitalist Free Market here.*

*this is assuming anything they ever…

What’s the difference between a professional musician and a large cheese pizza?

Pete vs Pete would be a fun matchup. 

Funny, he’s not giving away his $11 salads to those disproportionately affected by obesity and conditions related to unhealthy diets: the poor. This company’s always had a stink to it. It doesn’t take cash (which is illegal, at least in PA), alienating anyone who might not have or want to use a bank card: poor people, …

I’ll go to Chopt from time to time, even though it’s heinously expensive. But at least the Chopt CEO doesn’t sanctimoniously lecture me.

Amen. During my divorce process I had to make $30 last for a week of food, so it was mostly rice, beans, rice, beans, rice, beans, cheese. I gained 20 pounds over several months.

What if these rich asshats paid their fair share of taxes instead of sharing their unwanted opinions? What if people didn’t scream socilaism and cry themselves to sleep at the thought of helping people that need it? What if our politicians all went off and did connect the dots for the rest of their lives while people…

I totally got it. Its amazing how much chuffa you can add with dressing and cheese.

I’m telling you if you want to lose weight, you’re better off eating a Big Mac everyday for lunch than Sweetgreen’s Elote Bowl.

fucking preach all day. years ago my future former husband and i were caught in a very shit financial situation and were on SNAP for about a year. we were working three jobs between the two of us while he was going to school full time, and i was literally donating plasma for bus money so i could get to my retail job -…

I tried the apple macchiato and stirred it up like crazy with a spoon when I got to my office because I can’t deal with all of the good stuff at the bottom and it was so overwhelmingly gaggingly sweet I couldn’t finish it. And I’m someone who has a major sweet tooth but I could not.

Not even that. 4%+

Just wait till the the driver's boss gets wind of this. 

And a surprisingly tanned butthole

this feels super relevant to this post
 sorry couldn’t find a proper clip online