I know that this may seem like a throwaway story about some scrub on the Brooklyn Nets.

Those motherfuckers need to get off their asses and release the ToblerTwos.

It’s gotta prominently feature salt, but it also has to have one set of ingredients for some people, and then when it’s served to the next person, it has to explicitly claim that all of those ingredients are bullshit, and then contain entirely different ingredients.

“Moscow Mitch” is a dumb, reductive nickname.

Tangent: Not enough people name their dogs Fido anymore. 

People here are misunderstanding the rules of basketball. You don’t need to have the ball to get fouled. If you pull a Marcus Smart and flop on a rebound, if the other team is in the penalty, you’re getting your uncontested shot at that $1 mil.

100%

I hit against the Sasaki one in Japan. I also got a hit off the world’s fastest pitching machine. But that took me, like, all fucking day.

And then not fumbling, which I do not think is happening...

My very best tennis? Hell yes I’d get a point off of Serena. Even if we’re playing a best of 3, there are still a minimum of 48 points that have to be contested. You’re telling me that she’s not making a mistake in 48 points? I’m not finding that believable.

The answer is basketball. If you learn your set and your team executes properly, you’re going to end up with some open looks during the course of a game. Also, people are going to get tired from possession to possession, and fluky shit happens. Tip-ins, you hustling to become the 2nd man on a 2-on-1 fast break, you…

Uh, that highlight clip that’s supposed to highlight Townsend’s Neo-like reflexes shows a grand total of 3 successful volleys, two of which result in Halep passing her.

There is not nearly enough laser or focusing talk on this laser-focused site.

Look, I’m ok with them doing their thing, but do they really need to shut down the streets to have a parade?!

Fancy Kristen recommends that you use a butler for their autonomous braking, like real people.

I mean, it makes sense that Trump would demand it.

HIS NAME MEANS OF THE HOMME!

I’d be really excited for the possibility of Patrick Beverly getting impaled by Von Miller’s helmet.

There’s also the occasional time when a kicker is used to hit that “dribbler” onside kick and run it down.

If he hadn’t been vaccinated he wouldn’t be acting like that.