The guy with the thinnest skin has the worst takes on the entire site. I don’t know how he’s still writing here.

This is quite possibly the stupidest take on things. What’s the first thing you do when you see the ball go in goal on one of these plays that results in someone breaking out of a mass of people?

Here’s the thing. It’s the correct call. Absolutely.

Is Fancy Kristen gonna be there one day in a Jalop/Deadspin crossover article?

Maybe the coach just feels the same way about pitching as Hannibal Buress, and he doesn’t think that the pitcher should be able to just avoid his responsibilities.

SETTLE? For a Dr. Pepper? You mean, “I will gladly drink the patriotic alternative to Pepsi which is also made by Pepsi, and never even for a nanosecond even think about sipping that swill they call Mr. Pibb!”

She’s got Black woman strength! She’s freakishly athletic!

Mostly understand that NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU. You lost the Cola Wars, deal with it.

/tears down a Coconfederate monument

I know, man, that’s my favorite part. “Oh, gotta make it look like that was just a hard playoff foul. You need a hand, bro?”

Whoa, whoa. Can’t we just have a Pepsi and meet in the middle and have Nazis who get high on crack?

*siiiiigh*

I’m against this for environmental reasons. This is a fun idea, but it’s also a huge waste.

Wade is objectively the better player. He also wins on eyeball test. Wade was faster than Pierce, he jumped higher than Pierce, he played better defense than Pierce, and he had a signature move that wasn’t a flop.

Pierce: “Knife try, my man. hahaha”

I’ve heard stories that his last practice in Cleveland, the one where he gets booted from the team permanently, has him literally playing game like he had controller with the shoot button taped down. Anywhere he got the ball on the court, he immediately just turned and shot it.

I need to see the tape of this practice.

I think that I can honestly say that we’re all rooting for him to break all these records. You can do it, Chris!

Deolefeu looks so derpy on that first shot. He looks like he’s trying to dance a jig and hide his pot o’ gold. Great shot, though.

Second goal is a crap goal. No reason the keeper should be caught that flat-footed. The passing leading up to it looks like 113th minute level passing. But, hey, credit to the guy for…

Well, the stalking and intimidating part in addition to the accessory charge is what leads me to believe that her hands aren’t thaaaat clean.

Shouldn’t that really be “Boeing”?

His partner was also arrested and charged with being an accessory after the fact as well as stalking or intimidating.