He’s one part flaccid, one part o.

There are problems with your list of boring athletes:

Just wipe down the goddamn toilet seat. Provided you don’t have an open sore and you do have a functioning immune system, your body can handle those weak-ass microbes.

Let’s not pretend this shit started with Trump. He’s just the guy to reap the ultimate awards.

My favorite part of the Wizards is Austin Rivers coming out in the preseason and saying something to the extent of “I don’t know why everyone’s sleeping on us when we brought back the entire core AND added me and Dwight.”

Never get in position for an offensive rebound. That just makes the shooter feel like it’s okay to miss.

You had me at “burn down the credit bureaus”.

Honestly, I couldn’t stand the dialogue in Blackadder. It just seemed like Darling and whathisface artificially serving up a meatball for Blackadder to harangue on for 2 minutes, followed by the same thing happening again 10 seconds later.

Jason’s gonna get it done.

I always found it odd how hard Jerruh stood behind this guy. He fired a bunch of guys in the same situation. But for some reason, their scrubby backup QB is good enough to be his set & forget guy.

Damn. Nice.

Do you know how much rent is here? You throw us an extra game in the middle of the week, it’s already gonna cost $100/seat to get into the game, and then I gotta find a vacation/sick day to use?

I spent at day looking over that stuff at work, and spent the entire day laugh-crying. 

Look, man. I know it’s trendy to hate L.A., but L.A. baseball hasn’t done shit to you. Just let us have this and root against the godforsaken Red Sox.

Hey, he could have knocked down three bottles at the county fair like, last weekend and won that jersey.

I mean, by actively responding, you have conclusively proven that you are in fact, a motherfucker.

Sounds like they got it closed off in time before it did too much damage. The only thing they had to fear was sphere itself.

You guys been sleeping on this dude for a while, but I’ve been telling people for a long time that he’s the best guy named Elfrid to ever play in the league.

Maybe we can get Hawkeye™ to check it out.

Maybe instead of a weapon-sized clutch, what you need is a weaponized clutch? A tacti-purse? Stun satchel?

I dunno. I’m skeptical. (That would be one of my rap personas. SKEPTIKAL.) I generally use whatever shorts I have available during the warm months, and then when it gets cold, I have some high end sweats.