Methinks it’s not an act...

We had a long con for this one. One of our older friends was a lifeguard at the town pool and everyone knew him. He got some kind of nuclear sunburn on his face one summer and had damn near his whole head bandaged all summer long after that. Everyone in town knew who he was and that he was legal and that he drank Jack…

I clicked hoping to see P-Spicey’s pimped out front teeth covered in platinum and diamonds and now I’m leaving disappointed...

I use a pump sprayer meant for bug spray or something like that. It’s like a tiny portable pressure washer. Timing is the key to doing this right because you need to clean your fridge on laundry day.

I LOVE the Pimps Up Ho’s Down callback. One of my favorite documentaries ever. Especially because it had Ice-T explain how he can rake in Cop Killer album cash and then roll onto the set of Law and Order. He spit truth hard and clean:

I don’t think it’s being driven by one side of the political spectrum any more than the other. It’s being driven by the rich so that they get richer while we get poorer and simultaneously too dumb to notice. This is not a new pattern of social behavior for humans. We’re just at a technological level where the majority…

This is a point I make about these times often. All of these people raising their hands to be counted with trump and his pack of flunkies and their Home Depot torch wielding fuckknuckle cousins didn’t suddenly adopt their beliefs during the run up to the last election. They’ve had this hate inside them for their whole…

Again, yes, those things are 100% related and those are only 2 aspects of a problem with a couple dozen facets that goes all the way back to the first time that 1 human planted crops and another human killed that human for the crops.

They absolutely are. That was the whole point. 

Did you miss #1?

America is a vast self-reinforcing culture of deliberately ignorant malignant lunacy so high on the prospect of fame and fortune without effort that they’ll literally do nothing but thirst for attention and pound on their keyboards while a dystopian police state run by a handful of white oligarchs establishes itself…

Mao Tse Tung Has Entered The Chat

Pol Pot Has Entered The Chat

I think people being too dumb to:

When your abusive ex apologizes by giving you some killer oral, it buys them some time to set up the next beat down. 

It was, we were trying to think of something to replace the smokiness of the bonfire and it did it super classy. 

It looks like an eBay body kit for a Camry that tries to make it look like Lambo.

Fair enough, although it may not be fair to the rest of the pool of fucksticks to be lumped in with him.

Our bonfire got rained out so we made them under the broiler once in a jelly roll pan. I lined the pan with graham crackers and then chocolate. I added a dash of cinnamon and some ground instant coffee powder onto the chocolate. I broiled that until the chocolate melted and then dipped each marshmallow in bourbon to…

Do the rules cover how much -errr constitutes a definitive “N-Word”? Because there are levels that range from Brooklyn/Bostonian with no -errr at all, all the way to Mississippi highway patrol with a heaping helping of extra -errr usually followed by “boy”.