Nothing says ‘I Am the God-Damned Anti-Christ’ like sneering while posing on the red carpet for an event sponsored by Swarovski.

“I’m not going to answer to that stuff, because they’re rumors”

It’s an insult because he failed to do the thing he wanted to do most.

Worse — reanimated Weekend at Bernie’s II-style.

“That’s why conservatives seem to look so much better on Fox News.”

Hey, Erik!

Cool ‘Actually’ Bro!

Oh, hey, the Master Editor made it over from the switch. Great.

Boy, if you’re really trying to get to the heart of why people enjoy ice cream, “out of depression and fear for the human condition” seems to be like the last emotion you want to hit if you’re a pitch-man.

Jazzy is still a terrific DJ.

I think you’ve written a fine piece on why not to hate Guy Fieri.

Yes, it’s papyrus!

Well, shit.

But Ernie said you could learn to love it when it holds you hostage long enough - so I figured that’d be worth a binge.

I was definitely not thinking that.

That’s the face of a man excited to be standing in line for a donkey show.

“Richard Sherman is a moody penis.”

Woo-hoo!

How can you tell if you’re still in the Greys or not?

♫ Well they call me Pops, and I’m still around / til Kinja makes me want to burn the A.V. Club to the ground / I like bad movies, and the new Grizzly Bear / though this comment system makes me want to rip out my hair! ♪