Okay. So long as "shocked" is "Georgia O'Keefe pink", because that's the only crayon I have.

I want a Star Trek version of the opening credits to The Prisoner.

Oh yes, they float.

For God's sake, no one give OJ a screwdriver of any description!

I think I see a new Attorney General!

But as the commander and chief of the armed forces, he has far more guns at his disposal.

Batmobiles don't kill people, the people firing the guns on the batmobile kill people.

Masculine insecurity: the vehicle!

Your science appears to be a children's menu placemat from Dennys…

Turns out it was Sir Jimmy Saville the whole time!

As opposed to the Emma Stonehenge in the hills above Nagoya.

What's it like being middle-aged?

Everyone Knows This Already, Internet!

Fuck off, Keith! You're ruining the fun.

Given that I look like Sinn Fein's rabbi, I've never been asked; but I'm going with yes.

Will Jeff Bridges ever get tired of playing a cantankerous cowboy?

Maybe it's more a question of how dead it was during that period of time?

Broadcast in Glorious Living Color!

With any luck, Abraham will return as well to smash the American Idols, tie Ryan Seacrest up, and actually go through with the human sacrifice this time.

No, we're all going to come to a simultaneous end following a mishandled game of nuclear brinkmanship by our deal maker and chief.