Try pumping the breaks. And if that doesn't work, try pumping the driver.

Little Debbie has a Disqus account.

If you are, send us a sign! Make some incredibly tone-deaf, out-of-touch comment about something important you don't really understand!

Fine. John McCain's brain tumor is even more horrifying.

And… cue the incredibly graphic, homo-erotic double entendre from Alien Jesus:

"THAT WON'T STOP US!"
-One Million Assholes

The real horror story will be in this show's producers' email inboxes.

I've heard of To Catch A Predator, but this is ridiculous!

"Homoerotic Fumes" sounds like the band that members this commentariat would start, were their garages close enough to each other to rehearse.

Liturgical dance?

Lack of empathy in the political sphere: a Conservative.
Lack of empathy in every other context: a Psychopath.

Fuck'em. We're not leaving the poor to die and cheering on the destruction of humanity. There's so much lower to go.

That's only because he himself was tortured. Ask him to be compassionate about a situation he had no personal experience of; you'd get a different outcome.

Well, since this is a man who encouraged people to vote for a person who called him incompetent for being captured and held prisoner, that's pretty much carte-blanche for us to make all the gross, indecent comments we want about him before he's even dead. I mean what honor does he have?

Well, for Bobby's sake, let's hope that Arcel doesn't make an Arsehole of himself.

This herbal tea I'm sipping is delicious! Anyone else want some? I made a whole pot!

It's a ruse! The second horse pictured is actually an elaborate pantomime horse, with Ed Sheeran naturally in the horse's ass!

So that it can slither away into the nearest proximate storm drain and begin multiplying and spreading throughout the DC Metro sewer system?

Seems appropriate to me, since Donald Trump's penis itself is too vulgar to release.

SCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!