Je souhaite!

Sorry, for a moment there I forgot that I wasn't French.

So, is he going to get off his own lawn then, or…?

The 1890's were fucking awesome! All that Art Nouveau and Impressionist Classical Music!

I can see myself looking back on the past with rose-tinted glasses when I'm a retired Doof Warrior.

That would be a movie about the Minions from Despicable Me hunting down Osama Bin Ladin.

That's a fucking great alley-oop, right there.

Maybe, just throwing this out there, Clint Eastwood is making these decisions because he's old, and he's starting to loose it?

I like Cretinocracy. We're going to have to start using that word.

"Come the fuck in, or fuck the fuck off."

Mike Huckabee, who to tie it all back, looks and behaves like a flabbier, more shambolic Richard Nixon.

Wait, the 'bar' is really an erection? There I was thinking that it was something that you had to limbo underneath in order to become a lawyer.

Pictured: An anti-Semitic Cartoon.

Hell, we're only weeks away from "and how many divisions does the Pope have?" territory at this point.

(What is 'Sparkle Motion? It's not another goddamn, 'My Little Pony' thing is it?)

What makes you think that this is the forum to reveal this sensitive information you have? We just made at least six almost-identical DMX-based jokes. What clout do you think we have?

My favorite is:

Wait. DMX is the president's lawyer?! Why is he being done for tax avoidance then?

Up in here, up in here.

Eat your heart out, Herman Melville.