"Oh, if you were just ten percent less black, I could make you president."
-Jonah's Uncle, Veep

Gonna be honest: I still feel like a real sucker for stopping myself from making that joke.

Why in that photo is he wearing his watch in the classic, WWII wrist position?

Well, Hughes went and used the joke I was going to make in the very first sentence.

Okay. Now, why did you reply to me with a crude, punctuation-based sketch of Jon Snow's asshole? We were talking about his erection(s).

Maybe just polish it up, and give it a happy ending with a period at the end of the sentence?

Well, I guess Lady Stoneheart is too busy covering up for Donald Trump to be on Game of Thrones.

Oh, at this point I'll take whatever I can get.

Your pants have our sincere sympathy.

Because he was a punk-ass Welsh bitch. IRB, represent!

"Prime Minister, how many people should we send to fight them on the beaches?"

Rage virus and a severe head injury? Make that man a Republican Congressman immediately!

Do it with confidence, and you have a written Jeff Goldblum impression.

I am in complete agreement with this. Write and be happy!

Jazz has always featured occasional boobs, it just never lets them distract from the music.

Great. Another opportunity to practice our written Woody Allen impressions.

Modern art critics? Especially since Robert Hughes died.

You're the one trying to attach stigmata to crocs!

What's that, glorified MST3k quote generator?

"And now accepting the award on behalf of Carrie Fisher, the dead-eyed, uncanny-valley, CGI Fisher from Rogue One!!!"