Wow. Where did they find that talking squirrel in the photo?

Yes. And things won't go well for you if you imply otherwise.

Being a street in Ireland, it was only the sixth most whimsical thing to happen there that day.

Nah. The price to pay for that is too high.

Isn't your kid two? How do you crush the spirit of someone pre-vocal?

Gromit doesn't say anything, and he's charming.

The minions are popular in China because they torture a human rights lawyer into insanity in each film, right?

You're just jealous of thise other little, grotesque, yellow creatures getting all that attention overseas. Let's not beat around the bush; it would be hard for you to get that kind of Minion traction there.

Vayntrub?! Vay-not trub?

Ponies eat pigs?! Man, did Animal Farm ever get that wrong!

I visited a church built in the 17th Century… but in America! Take that Europe!

In honor of our post-truth, Orwellian reality, I will be counting every pair of two upvotes as five upvotes.

It's properly pronounced GLAAASTAAHHH.

I would rather watch a movie where bearded Hugo Weaving fights bearded Sam Neil.

And drunk. And paranoid.

Huh. Maybe there would be no Brexit if the RAF just spent all day in helicopters, flying around, blasting Middle-England with Ralph Vaughan Williams?

This is a terrible name for a band, because it can only ever become more depressing an ironic over time. Unlike PWR BTTM.

Too bad his dog isn't named Gordon. Because now we don't have just cause to shout "GORDON'S ALIVE!", like Brian Blessed.

We don't want to go down a road where we're encouraging priests to offer children candy. Wine is dicey enough.

Whereas according to Catholic dogma, God can be three things. Also praying to statues of Mary totally isn't paganism or idolatry.