*starts building thermal shield to reflect the heat from this take safely away from the commentariat*

Sorry, I didn't notice that. I had to take a break to google the name Zayn Malik because I (wrongly) thought that he was a Hungarian far-right politician.

The question that no one is asking, but has to be pointed out is: what is Bill Maher doing in a nail salon in the first place?

Come on, Bill. Couldn't you at least make a joke about Korean people eating dogs?

Ah, yes. The infamous Howard the Plumberduck.

Good editorial oversight here by the AV Club, having Katie Rife write this Newswire. There would have been a conflict of interest had Opie Hughes' nephew, William, written this piece.

It's funny because he's not actively trying to drive poor people to suicide in that photo.

He really runs more like Franka Potente…

*The AV Club is a Univision subsidiary, owned by Jay-Z and Tidal.

"You're neither. You're an errand monkey, sent by grocery chimps to fling your filth."

Shame you didn't say "taken HIS part". Would've been funnier.

But what you really mean is SHE HULK SMASH! Right?

Is there perhaps some sort of heterosexual, "Jews for Jesus"-type thing I can join?

I just made a few comments about a carousel made of penises. Can I be a gay?

At what point does his wife pack his bags, last night, pre-flight?

A 'callio-penis', if you will.

If anything, Emma Stone should be payed more than her male co-stars because she sends most of her paycheck home to her relatives in Malaysia.

I'm picturing a normal carousel, but with giant penises in place of wooden horses.

However, it is a restraint which I do not possess, and I shall demonstrate that lack of self control with an "Emma Stone is Asian Joke".

Rainy and grey here in Boston. Come on up!