It looks like a character played by H Jon Benjamin is about to stagger in and make an off-color literary reference.

A gender-ray sounds like something Alex Jones believes that liberals are trying to invent.

Reminds me of my time as a character in an Irvine Welsh novel…

In fairness, having genitalia in place of a nose is a pretty big evolutionary SNAFU.

So the title is really more like 'An Assassin's Creed'?

You can borrow some of my back hair, if you like.

Yeah, but presumably the creed belongs to more than one assassin? If it belonged just to him it would be spelled apostrophe-s, not s-apostrophe, but that's not the case, is it?

Post Script: shouldn't this game be called Assassins' Creed instead?

It's just another scam. It won't be Assassin's Creed, but "Assassin Screed."

That's how I feel about the Eurovision Song Contest.

"What's your favorite Beatles album?"

Are you suggesting that everyone should have an equal crack at life regardless of their personal wealth, and that money shouldn't be equated with human rights?

Could that chickpea be added to some sort of stew, perchance?

To be fair, if you remove that tumor, he might stop "winning."

For once, because of the tone of this story, I won't make a comment trying to goad you into making a homoerotic double entendre.

Yes, but they will belong to a woman so distraught by the total realization of a life's worth of sin that neither you nor she will be into it.

Yes. Please allow me to escort you to the small room into which you will be locked for all eternity along with two others.

*tries to initiate dormant Scanners ability *

That's not fair. They probably employ several hundred, pay them less than they should, and make them wear humiliating uniforms. And if that's not American, then I don't know what is!

So CNN is wasting its time looking into this viral post, but Donald Trump Jr isn't by shouting on Twitter when he's supposed to be running a real estate empire? Just want to get this straight.