Yooooo I would watch this movie.

nooooot at alllllllllll

Yep, this is the one. This is the winner.

My wife read that story about the little hole in the wall to me, and now we have resolved that when our daughter moves out on her home, we are going to buy her the biggest dog available. We are going to find a dog that could eat a Volkswagen and it is going to be her roommate. 

Or you wake up the next morning and the back door was open a crack the whole night. Why do we do this to ourselves ? 

I want to see this.  Do I want to see this... ?  Yes.  No.  YES.

This sounds like it could be sleep paralysis. I get that a lot if I fall asleep on my back, but it’s usually a witch tickling or chocking me. 

It’s the most wonderful time of the yeeeeeeaaaaarrrrr.... (by which I mean the time I read these until I am too terrified to cross my living room to the bathroom)

SO HYPE

We see you Lee! I find both of them insufferable but scam on!

“They’re also a group that will bitch constantly about those welfare cheats and entitlement program recipients, yet have no problem taking tens or hundredsof thousands of government subsidy dollars annually to keep their farm afloat. Claiming that they “deserve it” because “we feed America.””

Rural people know they’re on the low end of the scale for opportunities for a better life. They express it through hatred. They hate anyone who they think is getting something free from they government because they think they should get free shit and they’re jealous. They hate illegal immigrants because those people…

I have ZERO sympathy for most farmers.

I’ve put my lot in with MoviePass. We’re going over this cliff together.

His presidential library will just be a shop in the lobby of Trump Tower that sells Art of the Deal and a few other Trump-related titles, and his fans will make pilgrimages to it without a trace of irony. Some future administration will strip it of its official status, arguing that “a gift shop is not a presidential…

Haha, no, I mean the Presidential Library they all get. He shouldn’t get one.

Lack of library access isn’t a punishment to someone who can’t read and doesn’t want to.

This is exactly right.
He’s a protection racket that still burns your fucking store down after you pay him.

He only had the most stressful job in the fucking world for eight fucking years. He’s a fucking private fucking citizen and can do whatever the fuck he wants.