i could spend eight dollars a month or i could just squeeze the bags of juice with my bare hands

Blue check is embarrassing. No one wants the world to know they can’t get some without paying for it.

Now, the Star-Belly Sneetches had bellies with stars. The Plain-Belly Sneetches had none upon thars. Those stars weren’t so big. They were really so small. You might think such a thing wouldn’t matter at all.

https://www.theonion.com/please-like-me-1848674003

You’re wrong so often it must be a kink.

I don’t know if it’s “complaining” so much as “not paying.”

Just because Big Man Moneybags buys the community center everyone loves and wants to turn it into condos doesn’t mean you let him. Sometimes you need to have a catchy chant and a bikini car wash to raise enough money to kick his butt back to the big city and leave us alone.

There are few things in this world that I’m certain of, but one thing that I know for sure is that Norm Macdonald’s ghost wouldn’t pay for Twitter Blue. This subscription is clearly the work of an imposter ghost. I suspect the ghost of Frank Stallone, who is alive, yet remains the ghost of Frank Stallone.

There was a recent movie about Anne Bolyne where a black actress played her. Some people think Beetoven was black under even less evidence then Cleopatra. Bridgerton had the wife of George III as black. This isn’t a big problem mind you compared to white washing but its a thing none the less.

They’ve all got blue checks on Twitter.

Look I don't like Making a Murderer.  I think its too pro Avery it cut out important information to make a stronger argument and I don't think anyone cares about the victims.  But there are few people I trust less then Candace "Hitler did good things" Owens.  So yeah.... super hard pass on this.  

Candace is a fool. She almost always embarrasses herself whenever she’s forced out of her bubble.

“I have an interest in the media’s ability to transform villains into heroes via selective reporting.”

At what point does someone think that maybe trying to fit someone who died 2000 years ago into current day racial archetypes is maybe not even a worthwhile goal? Race is a construct. You don’t know what she looked like. There is no accuracy here. It’s just best informed guesses. 

No, that would be across the river in Arkansas.  Though I can say that if she’s from Memphis, TN, she’s almost definitely Black.

“Amir in his bedroom in Cairo wrote to me to earnestly appeal that ‘Cleopatra was Greek!’ Oh, Lawd! Why would that be a good thing to you, Amir? You’re Egyptian.”

So you are saying she was from Memphis, Tennessee?

The coins which depict her make her look like a Roman emperor, but that might’ve just been the style at the time. But, if it were meant to be recognizably Cleopatra to the rabble that used the coins, then maybe the correct move is to stop hiring good-looking people of any ethnicity to play her.

That sound you hear is Robert Pattinson running away screaming.

For those who weren’t old enough to realize so at the time, these books were some crazy-ass shit. I remember cracking open the last one shortly after its release and reading the part where teen werewolf boy psychically imprints his love ownership on vampire girl’s baby and I honestly felt like I was tripping. Later…