I think I saw this on an episode of Locked Up Abroad on Investigation Discovery. It doesn’t end well. Run. Run now.

I’m weak. I don’t drink alcohol. Just milkshakes.

Genetics helps. A lot.

Meh. He can go pound sand or paint a wagon.

More than willingly. She was not picked to be part of the kill team, but pleaded to be included until Manson agreed.

She is where she belongs.

His taste in music (He was overheard singing Allan Sherman’s “Sarah Jackman.”) seems much better than his taste in movies.

Grew up on a farm. Goats are by far the most terrifying farm animal. Their eyes. Their demeanor. All terror-inducing. No way I’d have sex with goat.

Are we just going to ignore the fact that one passenger had to grab an oxygen mask from the adjoining row? Did the masks on their own row not work? That would be kind of a nightmare.

More special education teachers? Good luck finding those. There is a critical shortage of special education teachers all across the U.S.

I’m not alarmed by the fact that two 16-year-olds may consensually send naked pictures of themselves to each other. Prosecuting that behavior seems absurd.

She really was cheated when Mame was taken to the big screen. Lucille Ball was a terrific comedian but she couldn’t sing her way out of a f*cking paper bag.

Try as they may, nothing about the new format will ever beat Helen Reddy and the dancing camel’s performance of “We’ll Sing in the Sunshine.”

I thought you were on the pill.

I live in Lafayette, just around the corner from Pleasant Hill and right next to Walnut Creek. That store you visited? Been there on many occasions. It’s horrible.

I like the Conway Twitty route. I start singing, “I’d Just Love to Lay You Down.”

Women are too smart for these websites. They’re still using the personal columns to find those guys that like Pina Coladas, getting caught in the rain, that aren’t into yoga (good call on that one, really), that have half a brain, and that like making love at midnight.

Bathhouses. They still have bathhouses to themselves.

Not going to lie. It’s the only channel I watch. In fact, I got DirecTV for my RV just so I could watch the channel when traveling/vacationing.

Shitty parenting.