The Conservative-Industrial Punditry Complex is really struggling to fire up their Hot Take machine on this one. They’ve established a helpful rubric to aid in crafting their narrative:

I saw Bobby Wood’s face on a milk carton just yesterday.

But when a door was opened, suddenly Orton and Mahal could barely move. It was 60 seconds of them pretending they couldn’t walk the two feet to easily exit the cage. (The same thing happened during the John Cena vs. Rusev flag match earlier in the night, when the simple act of picking up a flag became a struggle.)

Racism? At an Indians game?

Sure, Eckersley doesn’t know how rough it is on pitchers today. David Price has completed 16 of his 259 career starts, and Eckersley completed 17.

Before going back to re-read the headline of this article, I was really unsure where your comment was going.

Footage of this guy is the best ISIS recruiting video ever.

Neymar is currently the world’s second-best player...

Oh sure, now they want Kaepernick to get down on his knees.

Nah. McGregor is a loud mouth, Mayweather is actual human garbage. The ideal outcome is Mayweather finishes the night with a feeding tube.

Ive spent time all over the US and the south is actually full of nice people and amazing food but LA is to be avoided. Mardi Gras isnt worth it. Go to the one in Galveston and stay out of jail/not robbed/not beaten up.

In my experience Louisiana makes Alabama look like Norway.

The secret service guys in south LA would probably buy them a beer.

Ever spent any time in south Louisiana?

And then I’m gonna go up to my fourth-floor apartment and continue to do whatever the hell it is I want to do.

Yeah, so I haven’t been watching the Finals because my hate for the Penguins is unwavering...but I just watched that clip from Game 1. Um, how in the hell did they did they conclusively determine that was offsides?!?

Goddammit, now I’m reminded that Barstool Sports is a thing that exists.

I’m not sure what everyone wanted him to do in this situation. He’s not allowed to use his hands.

“It’s hell when you don’t have it because everything you do turns to darkness and there’s nothing that really matters

White people are the Kenya Moore of the world.