Not me and not even my dad, but way back in the day (The Sixties), my uncle worked as a janitor at a movie studio, and while he was changing a light bulb, he lost his balance and was caught by John Wayne.

Won't say the celebrity that it was but they saw me buying things for my busted toilet, and we made eye contact and they made a comment about it. Now I never poo.

OHhhh, I think I might have a crack at this one!

Your enjoyment of this tale may depend on your knowledge of early '90s female singer song-writers, as the best of them usually do. When I was 8 or so my dad took me to a public radio studio recording of Rickie Lee Jones. He was recently divorced and making an effort to spend one on one time with my brothers and I, and…

About a decade ago I was heading to the house of a client in Beverly Hills. As I pulled up on the other side of their hilly street I saw that two older guys were standing in the driveway. One of them had very curly long blondish hair which I thought was somewhat unusual in a man of his vintage. As I'm cutting across…

I have no stories, probably because I don't go outside anymore, but also because I've never met a celebrity.

1. When I was about 12 or so, I met Cindy Crawford at Silvercup Studios. She was incredibly beautiful and wearing a red gown. I hid behind my father because I was too stunned to say anything.

I've posted this before, but my mom went to high school with Gloria Estefan, and they were vague friends in the early 80s. There was a six-month period where they hadn't seen each other, and when they finally did my mom told her she had gotten married (to my dad) in the mean time.

While shoe shopping at the mall(no you did not read incorrectly) I was summoned by a famous R&B singer(during the 2000s when he was on top of everything). He sent one of his bodyguards to come "fetch" me . Not only was I not interested, I was not pleased by the approach and the interruption of my shopping. I sent the…

Here are a few more random fun moments, though not as good as my Ryan Gosling life masterpiece:

This is not so insane, but we went to the Cafe Carlyle and the Countess from RHONY was there with a posse of gay men, and yes - she sang. I took photos. Just wanted to share.

One time I asked Kylie Jenner if she was going to use all those chairs at Urth Cafe. She was, and she did. Jack Osbourne and Queen Latifah were also there at the same time. I was living in an US Weekly.

Oh, and Meryl Streep offered to carry a rotisserie chicken out of a grocery store for me because I was back home visiting after my mom had a heart attack.

So on Gawker they had a 50 greatest opening lines of literature post the other day. Can we have one for all of Gawker Media or blog posts in general 'cause this one just made me lose my shit:

Oh, also: Wendy James, the lead singer of the 1980s band Transvision Vamp, told me I was handsome. And that was last week.

This is not insane.
This was completely awesome.
My sister got Andrew W.K. to officiate her wedding.

my step dad swears up and down that he stood next to Clint Eastwood at the urinal in Clinton restaurant in Carmel, CA. I think he's full of shit though.

I've seen quite a few celebrities at Disneyland - Nathan Fillion, Chris Hardwick, and Adam Sandler - but just saw, not spoke to or anything.

Okay, I've lived in both New York and Los Angeles, which explains my high rate of celebrity encounters. Numbered chronologically:

I knocked boots with Kurt Russell!