How else are you supposed to unhook a bra?
PoopThong
poopthong
In defense of the fork lady, I am accustomed to getting forks at every store I go to. Starbucks, Target, Giant, Victoria’s Secret... It doesn’t matter. If I go into a store, I better be getting a fork!
We didn't tell her, but we (as in her friends) suspect that he asked all his buddies to come over and help him out peeing on everything after a bender. The amount of pee that she described on EVERYTHING did not come from one single person. We're talking about urine soaked stuff, just waiting for her at their half…
I put a little nugget of kitten poo in my ex's new suit's breast pocket the night he dumped me. Just small enough that it wouldn't be apparent and just rank enough to be a real presence.
I sold mine for $10k and paid my parents back for the non-refundable reception (that still went ahead) after I baulked hours from the alter because my ex turned out to be a lying sociopath.
Oh, I did! And I signed his Atheist ass up for some women's daily devotional spam. Also, the judge gave me money I didn't ask for, so there was that too. He was like, "The guy stole your cat and you AREN'T suing for money?" Then he told my ex that he was lucky that he stole a sane person's cat, because I could…
Yep, that's pretty much how it goes. My ex and I were invited to be (and appeared) on Judge Mathis because they are based in Chicago and we live in their tri-state scan area. They had a ball with our case (egging) and the hair/makeup ladies were fun. The show also paid the judgment so no waiting around trying to…
I got her back! Also, here's a bonus photo of her being EXTRA fucking gorgeous. Whenever someone is like "you sued a crazy drug dealer for your cat? Why?" I show them this photo. Could you say no to this face? I think not.
Oh, I got her back! And he got arrested for being a drug dealer shortly after. It was kinda great.
I took him to small claims court to get my cat back. She apparently has a crew of people who browse the dockets for ridiculous lawsuits. I actually called the producers and was like, "Am I being punked right now?"
LOL guys are disgusting... let that preclude this story.
meh, I considered that. At the time though I was so disgusted that I wanted nothing more to do with him or the ring. Leaving it symbolized that clean-slate cut that I wanted. He was so dumb, he probably wouldn't have understood I was dumping him. SO dumb—about 2 years after we split, he sent me an out-of-the-blue…
My wife's dad did something like that, just before we moved into our house, she found his secret cellphone and ended up finding out he had what was basically a second family. They even had family portraits in the house. They weren't his actual kids, but he sure treated them like they are and he lives with them now.
I know! I HATE when I read that girls returned jewelry after a cheating incident. I realize most women wouldn't want a reminder of the man, so sell that shit! Go to a spa! But a downpayment on a Benz! Fuck him, treat yourself to something nice on his stupid ass dime.
Yeah. I'd have been willing to work through it as a a "one time thing" but the kid called him Daddy- mother fucker was keeping a family secret.
My favorite part of this story is definitely Judge Judy. HOW DID SHE FIND OUT? IS SHE OMNISCIENT???
When she showed up at our apartment with a toddler. Cute little bugger- looked just like my at the time husband.
My (now ex) fiancé and I had a somewhat long-distance relationship. I worked an a city 3 hours from the small town we lived in, so I would stay with friends or my parents while I worked my 4 days on, and go home on my days off. Things were never "good" when I was at home, but anyone can tolerate each other for 4-5…
College, I was dating a douche y Navy ROTC dude who lived in his frat house. He bailed on a date night with me because he was "sick," so being a dutiful girlfriend, I took some chicken noodle soup over to the frat house. Walk in, walk up to his room, and there he is, banging some rando chick. I hurled the soup at…