Ignore all these people, Kim, and instead listen to this cautionary story about a girl named Lucky.

Now that's how it's done

Well psh, SOME of us suffer from the combo of:

had the same thing...crickets. i was even blunt and was all please anything a moan, to no avail. that was awful.

What officially ended it, though, was when he told me he was Tosh.0's talent agent. I never figured out if he was telling the truth about that, but like, 1) Tosh.0 is a huge d-bag and I don't want to associated with him in any way, and 2) If he was lying about being someone's agent, why did he pick Tosh.0?!!! After I…

Truth!
I'm a grown-ass woman, never had a pop idol as a teen or tween, but for whatever reason I am just an utter 12-year-old girl when it comes to her. To the point where I never wanted boyfriends or friends to come to her shows with me, because I just want to fangirl it up and not feel embarrassed. This guy brings me…

Told an ex it's the clitoris not the hole you use your tongue on, his reply 'my ex never complained, what would you know'. My reply 'your ex is a fucking liar'

This is why I delete most of my tweets to Lady Gaga a few days after. It's easier for potential partners to digest the tattoo and the themed bathroom after they've met me. :D

HA! Just left a guy for that exact reason. He "tried" giving oral a few times in his 35 years of life and didn't like it...I can't commit to a man who thinks his dick is enough. ITS NOT ENOUGH!

OH MY GOD! I haven't hooked up with a guy like that in so long I'd forgotten them! But yeah, the totally silent types are the WORST! I mean, the guy I just broke up with was the opposite - I was always like "do ALL my neighbors need to know we're fucking?" - but I'd rather have that than a guy where you're like "are…

most guys secretly hate being reminded that mere insertion of the penis isn't enough

Did you know that your clitoris is actually shaped like a wishbone, extending around the vaginal opening? Kegels can help you get more stimulation from the rest of it.

Penetration alone orgasms? I have had like two ever and they were amazing and I am hateful and spiteful with jealousy right now. I can generally only come from my clitoris, and generally only by absolutely hammering it into submission at a very specific angle that is nearly impossible for anyone but me to hit.…

This story sums up my OkC experience as well. I actually had so many bad dates with "actors" that I stopped agreeing to dates with actors entirely. I don't know if I only attracted douchebag-y actors or what the deal was, but there are only so many times that I can trek to Wicker Park only to have some dude in…

I once had an "Actor" show up to a date still wearing lipstick from his job (singing carols at a christmas market...nice acting, broham) and then proceed to criticize me for wearing too much makeup. He also said "Your pictures didn't suggest you'd be fat" and I was like "I literally have a full body shot on okcupid.…

Fact: My current boyfriend, also white, on our first date...I saw a man walk by with dreadlocks and this exchange occurred.

Me: [unable to hide overexaggerated grimace]
Him: What?
Me: Oh, sorry, it's just a white guy with dreadlocks walked by.
Him: What's wrong with that?
Me: Well, besides that hairstyle looking invariably…

This is just a place for OKCupid horror stories, right? I'm in!

My boyfriend when I was 19, who was white, decided that dreadlocks expressed who he really was. I broke up with him the next day.

I would gladly star in the lamest, most embarrassing SNL sketch ever to air if it meant I got to kiss Edward Norton at the end. Aidy is a lucky woman. This wasn't funny, but I enjoyed it.