poopthong
PoopThong
poopthong

The one on the left looks so dignified and incredulous. Pretty sure it's trying to accept the other one's apology, except the koala on the right is making it all about themselves. Not cool.

This made me:

Once an old lady told me that long ago women used McCormick's alum powder. Cheap, and a common culinary item. Tightened so well that a man couldn't even get it in. She used it on her wedding night so her husband would think her a virgin.

Whatever, haters. I want a vagina so small I have to use Q-tips as tampons. A pussy so tight it leaves nothing to the imagination. A twat so tiny it's easier for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle than for a dick to fit in there. A chocha so itsy-bitsy it's like throwing a hot dog down Polly Pocket's hallway.

Snerk.

It's only tight until I get a hold of it, right guys? Up top! Anybody?

Me: Babe, would you like me to get some '18 Again Vaginal Shrink Cream'?

If this shit actually worked, we'd be a nation of (apparently functionally illiterate) coffee straws and summer sausages and the birthrate would flatline.

18 again knows, 18 again don't care.

I would .put it on my abs and thighs. But not my healthy butt, because Sir Mixalot.

Do you know how these "shrink creams" actually work? They dry out your pussy so there's more friction when you are being penetrated by a cock, which I guess is supposed to make you feel tighter or like he can't even fit in there! Except it's hard for him to get in there because you are dry as a bone. That's why that

THE FACT THAT IT LEFT A WEIRD ORDOR AFTER

Headline from the future: MIRACLE VAGINA SHRINKING CREAM CAUSES CANCER

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