Callie, I'll miss you dearly, and I'll never forget that time you freelanced for The Hairpin.

Callie, you are one of the funniest, brightest people I know. Your work added so much to the site and I am really bummed that we won't have you around anymore. I don't know who I can talk to about Tish or mpreg now and, tbh, I feel so lost.

Who will give me urgent bunny dispatches and crack me up with the quippy Shakespearean references in Dirtbag each morning? I will miss your hilarious story-telling and wonderful fashionista outfits that I could never pull off. May you stare longingly into the faces of your new Vice co-workers as you stared at mine all…

Callie....Callie...Callie not you... :(((( sobing......... best of luck to you.

Nooooo you're my favoritee.

Are all my favorite Jezzie writers going to Vice? do I just have to read Vice now?

I'm going to miss you terribly (ú_ú) but congratulations on the new position, Callie!

Callie, I will miss you so much!!! You are one of my favorite writers ever and I look forward to reading Vice on a regular basis because you and Tracie are over there. Thank you for being so awesome and for laughing at all my dumb jokes over Gchat. Your dirtbags were always my inspiration for Saturday dirtbags.

If you guys keep doing this I might have to start reading Vice, and I really don't want to do that.

Oh jeez. I might be a freak nasty bitch, cause all I could think was, "The smell of fresh pencils is very soothing."

Mint & Olive Oil? I admit I have an over active imagination & watch a lot of Hannibal, but my first thought was "he's going to make sausage casing out of their intestines."

I had a guy message me and ask if I wanted to give him head while he played Skyrim. No hello. No introduction. Just asking if I wanted to blow him while he played. Which I wouldn't really object to, he was kinda cute, except that was the entirety of his message. Missed opportunity on his part. Provide a proper…

Triscuits would be worse.

Saltines during sex is probably the most impractical fetish.

This is one of my favorite okc mails....I am still curious how I would feel this in my armpits.

There was a creepy dude on Grindr, that told one of my guy friends what he wanted him to do. The exact words were, I kid you not:

What is the diameter of this pepperoni stick? Is it like one of those slim jim style snack sticks or thick like summer sausage? How does he lubricate this?

It makes me feel better about the last creepy message I received on okcupid...