Crappy record selections at Goodwill thrift shops around the world rejoice at the news that somebody, anybody is going to buy all those goddamn Herb Alpert albums.

Is it going to charge me for all loose grapes that I sneakily devour while shopping for produce?

I don't think that's particularly fair. Have you seen Breaking 2?

Breaking 2: Electric Boogaloo

Scattered & Smothered!

Not enough pigeons.

Yeah, God is just a stranger on a bus trying to make his way home.

Brad Pitt was also robbed of that same Oscar for his role in True Romance.

Something something something…Buckethead!

His favorite game show is Wheel of Fortuna.

It's not a production schedule problem. It's because of stupid Thursday Night Football getting better ratings than anything else on NBC.

She's trying to destroy all the goodwill she built up earlier this week with that awesome Double Dare article.

Coming soon: The Official Courtney Love Turtle Toque

Starwipe toilet paper is on clearance.

Some stuff is worth "revisiting." I just finished a Buffy/Angel rewatch and am so glad I did. While I loved both shows the first time, it was so much fun to watch them again without the pressure of being "spoiled," etc. They're wonderful shows that hold up to repeated viewings.

Did they have the windows rolled down and some awesome C.S. Lewis, Jr., music blaring for all the world to hear?

America can, should, must and will blow up the moon.

You don't mess around with God's America!

Thank you for the fun and informative read, Marah!

Mr. Vanilla Ice, sir, we're going to have to ask you to please stop bringing your harpoon into the inflatable hot tub daily or nightly. You're scaring the other guests.