I often use Fapflix right before trying to sleep.

Joe Morgan wouldn't.

Speak for yourself.

Putin Chews are amazing!

Worst candy ever: Buttered popcorn-flavored Jelly Bellys.

Tell that to that one Japanese soldier who kept his post on that deserted island until 1987.

Your sister is a monster. No wonder your parents had another child.

They're M & M's that will melt in your mouth AND hand.

Major points to them for not giving out Jack Chick tracts.

Agreed on the coconut hate. But I couldn't upvote your comment because now, thanks to you, I've got that stupid, "Almond Joy's got nuts, Mounds don't!" song stuck in my head. I hate you.

I just throw the banana ones away. They're the worst.

He was in a car crash and he lost some air.

If Helen Keller was alone in the forest and fell down, would she make a sound?

It was the rat's nest line that made me scroll back up and confirm that it was him.

Two is my favorite number.

If I can ever get this damn box open, I'll let you know.

And knowledge is power! Grrr! Now you're strong like the Hulk!

Misery was published in 1987.

In other news, Paperboi's biggest fear is dogs, shampooed or otherwise.

And he was the father of the kid who played Marilyn Manson on The Wonder Years!