That's what happens when you make a deal with the devil and Adam Levine.

Hmm, we did the same thing only while watching Bad Santa.

Lame job, internet. And Tori Amos.

Should you use the mens or womens restroom to shit out that deep fried twink? Hmm…

Give me another space beer, Gleep Glop.

Well, many more of us live next door.

Quick! Someone get this man in touch with Duracell's promotions department immediately!

Hopefully there were some canned peaches on the GoT craft services table at least.

Stop watching this show and start on Deadwood right now, you hooplehead.

Oh, I wanna dance with somebody
I wanna feel the heat with somebody
Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody
With somebody who loves me

Just like Chuck Norris!

And sometimes they are both equally boring.

Says someone who obviously didn't learn Spanish from years of working in a restaurant kitchen.

You might think it's hard to come up with a word that rhymes with rendezvous. But you're not Ric Ocasek.

Needs more The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer

He should be in jail for turning into a housefly so he could get a free peep show while she was taking a bath.

*Spike Lee angrily shits in a mailbox*

To paraphrase Charlie Brown, "Lucy, tell your statistics to shut up!"

You Might Think I'm Pedantic

ROTCIFL! (Rolling On The Caved-In Floor Laughing)