I failed at Having It My Way.

Yes.

You're going to have to go to summer school, Internet.

Make more blurry porn.

Paul McCartney's so old he could fall down on stage and tragically break his hip at any time now!

No, Tandy is the Last Man on Earth.

In spite of those troubles, Denny's still doing better today than Mark Fidrych.

I'm sure that Denny McLain, the Detroit Tigers 30 game winner, would answer if Paul called. Who is Denny McLaine?

Too tragic. Not enough hip.

I highly suggest reading Clockers ASAP.

You can keep it. I don't even wear a watch. I just use the clock on my phone.

Now I want to go watch Netflix at a Burger King.

Mein Kampf… Don't spoil the ending for me!

Worst Bob Marley song ever. And that's saying a lot.

Don't get your hopes up. Internet will only let you down again next time.

He came to my door and I bought some magazine subscriptions from him once.

And those who can't write become editors. As the world turns.

And their definition of "comedy."

In the butt?

This pop culture weekend I learned that Bob Eubanks is still alive.