Most Big Ten fanbases could have told NFL scouts in advance that Hackenberg is a mess. He *sucked* in college. The walking definition of a guy who looks the part but can’t play for shit.

I don’t get it :(

Yeah but if I were a professional football player with a very tiny window to make as much money as possible before I get hurt or wash out of the league, I’d be praying to go to a Florida team. No state income tax, and those teams have both been not-hopeless at various points in the last 20 years. Plenty of time after…

I was in an eating contest once in college where the contestants had to choose walkout music as they were announced. I went with “Spice Up Your Life,” by the Spice Girls. Not sure I’d do any different today.

Greatest Raptor? He’s third at best behind VC and Chris Bosh. 

how does this tweet only have a hundred likes and not, say 400,000 likes?

They were observing that he’s not white, and they are racist. 

Fun fact: In Pakistan, where I live, the word for a bidet is “lota.” This is also the word for a politician who frequently switches party allegiance because, presumably, they’ll clean anyone’s ass.

Counterpoint: Liberated fandom is the best and this team is fun. ¡Vamos el Tri!

My friend, the Swedish consul to [country where I live], immediately after the match: “Well, it’s okay. We didn’t start the Second World War. So for me I’m satisfied.”

I regret that I have but one star to give this comment.

I appreciate how strongly you are committed to winning this extremely unimportant semantic argument.

Yes, but I’m always comforted that he has the dumbest — and I mean that without exaggeration: the single dumbest — signature celebration in all of major sports. The jumping-180-to-hands-down-by-sides thing is so awkward, so transparently forced and needy. It’s like Kobe’s late-career mean-scowl face. It cheers me up…

No slouch, but probably still fifth on the list (after Spanish, Portuguese, French, and German in some order).

I bet if he went to the Spurs and played for a coach he really respects — and he said last year that he thinks Pop is the GOAT — he’d be a better team player than he’s been carrying mediocre teammates and a pliant coach in Cleveland.

That is the best email of the week in the history of* this column.

Sure, the oil companies are investing in renewables, but not while trying to milk fossil fuels for every fucking cent they can wring out while the milking is good and funding decades worth of anti-climate science propaganda to protect their right to do so. Fuck them all.

How is that Mike Seven-Seconds-or-Less Dantoni is presiding over the slowest, least creative offense I’ve ever seen on a good team?

I lucked into tickets to that playoff game against the Seahawks. I’ll never forget the sound the stadium made when he went down with that final knee injury: a kind of “hubumpumphthgnahhhhhhh” exhalation of despair. We all knew, instantly, what it meant.

But like, why does he keep trying though?