police, however, said Belle “turned around and shaked his genitals”

If the Belle tolls more than twice, it’s considered playing with yourself.

He’s lucky he wasn’t at a Lions game. Someone would have dove in to make a salad.

He’d have stood on top of the car?

Well, we know it wasn’t at a Bills game since there isn’t a single tongue in his butthole.

On the bright side, he’s been named an honorary member of the official Buffalo Bills Tailgate Team.

If this was Detroit...(please finish this joke)

Counter proposal, instead of letting the damn gub’mit tell us what time to keep, how about everyone can keep whatever time they want. Whatever happen to life, liberty & all that? When I say it’s 11:72, it’s goddamn 11:72, OK?

Not sure if it’s the best overall, but I think Mountain Time Zone would be the optimum choice for sports.

Thanks to Loyola I learned that both Miami and Tennessee have basketball teams

Deputy Director: “Damn it, Tillman! This is a white collar case. There’s no need for a strip search!”

That’s Special Agent Peanut to you, buddy

Money laundering, wire fraud, tax evasion, things like that. The entire system is a conspiracy to commit tax evasion, but the ringleader of the racket is the NCAA which prevents players from claiming their income legally.

Why is the FBI involved in illegal multi-state operations? I have no idea...

Heck of a day for mediocre White Guy coaches of many ages today.

You’ve got to plan ahead if you want to score the nation’s #129 recruiting class.

Essential message: if one of your football players is accused of rape, do everything you can to run the accuser out of school and out of the state entirely, so that the DA won’t press charges.

This investigation is sure to hurt New Mexico’s preparation for the fall. They may not be able to go 3-9 again.

This guy has elite bridge burning skills.