Remember the lions!

Was the dick still attached to the sheep? Was the sheep alive?

(Daddy is worth $787 million)

I’d try a horse steak

Wyoming has zero good cities and terrible food.

1. Acquire mediocre centers

This is a bad take.

I spent a couple of weeks in Argentina, so I’m going to pretend to be an expert.

Well, for my 81st birthday, I’m going to snort a kilo of coke.

The only thing that could make this story more Lions is if it involved their first round draft pick eating butt (while naked in a strangers home).

The greatest moment of my life will be when I get arrested buck naked when I’m 82 and I proceed to poop in the patrol drone.

Who hasn’t driven naked through a drive thru?

Hmmm...not so sure being totally naked will keep you from getting shot. You could be hiding a gun in your ass. Or your erect penis could be mistaken for a gun.

First thing I’ll do should I fear that I’m going to be arrested is get naked.

*retches*

Can you win a championship in farting?

I hope he goes and plays for a team other than the great Satan next season. It’ll be easier to like him then

Yup. You’re a bad person.

I would give thee 100 stars, but kinja won’t allow that.

BLUE LIVES MATER! Why won’t Chris Short think about the polce!