My buddy Phil and I randomly decided to road trip to Vegas from Chicago for New Years the day after Christmas a few years ago. Was kind of a whirlwind, we wanted to save our cash for a nice hotel in Vegas so we just kind of camped out for the three days it took us to get there. My last memory on New Year’s Eve was…

Looking good in general but for 15 holy shit! 

Fill it with cooked spaghetti and pray? Hehe, I don’t know but I do know those are pricey so I hope you succeed in your cleaning endeavors!

I finally caved after cooking some especially explosive sweet potatoes last week and cleaned my oven vigorously. I looked like a chimney sweep boy from 1800’s London after. 

I developed an onion intolerance a couple years ago. I refrigerate them and run hot water while I chop them but I still look like I watched a hundred puppies get run over by a steam roller when I cut them. Which really sucks cause onions are in everything. 

Does it work for blood? I had a scar tear open on the middle of my back during 4th celebrations whilst wearing my favorite shirt. I’ve washed it thrice now and I’m terribly distraught cause it still looks like I got stabbed. I mean I’m not gonna give it up but I’d still prefer to not look like I got shanked.

Right, they’re just fields of people rotting in boxes. I guess I’m an insensitive monster but the entire point of cemeteries escapes me completely. Why put them in a box, at least bury them naturally and plant a tree over them or something? 

You ever play Dead Rising KW? There was a dildo gun, think it debuted in 3, and one of my favorite things was not killing the zombies but just shooting a dildo in their eye so there was just this mass of zombies with fake cocks sticking out of their faces.

I find myself irrationally upset by that tiny chandelier above the bed. Like there’s two lamps on the nightstand yet you need the worlds smallest chandelier above your Michael Scott bed

I have a giant red iron fire door I took when they remodeled my complex as my bathroom door. I had barn doors in my last apartment and I wasn’t terribly partial to having everyone in my apartment being able to hear every noise that happened in my bathroom

I adore your user name. I can’t remember if that’s actually Little Sebastian or the impersonator whose tumescense Tom comments on

Pretty sure marshmallows are one of those foods that would survive a nuclear apocalypse

Oh my god Mimi yes, I’m borderline and I absolutely form attachments way too quickly. It’s taken me years to understand and moderate my feelings then realize I might be feeling that way cause I have a personality disorder. Slow motion car crash for sure. Major red pavement vibe or whatever that horrifying drivers ed…

Well Pete is borderline, I am too, and I have to say it’s a terrible idea. It’s in our nature to form attachments to people quickly. I’d bet my pinky finger this doesn’t last a year, if even six months. Although I appreciate what your saying about quick engagements your cases are more like the exception to the rule.…

Thanks Joan, been a minute since I checked.

Hehehe, The Battle South of Seattle!!! I was wondering if there was some impetus for your choices, seemed pretty specific.

I’d say Temecula, the most horrifying public bathroom I’ve ever seen in my entire life was at a gas station just on the outskirts of town. There was a giant spider web in the corner that appeared to have been constructed around a calcified human shit and I saw not one but three heavily used syringes. Sounds like a…

I do use canvas bags but on occasion I will go for plastic so I can re-use them as poop bags for my dogs. I’ve tried and haven’t really found biodegradable turd satchels that I can regularly afford.

What’s a yanny? Am I being some combination of old and dense?

Thanks Trav, was nice of you to say so!