My attempt:

“Bleacher Report writer Kevin Ding’s recent article entitled “PHIL JACKSON, KNICKS DOOMED BY WANTING CARMELO TO BE SOMETHING HE IS NOT” raises some interesting points. However, my old friend Michael Graham, with whom I used to play in the Continental Basketball Association, taught me to accept a person for…

Those numbers aren’t great or anything, but if I were a Vikings fan I’d rather have Vick on a one year deal than trade a 1st and 4th for Sam Bradford. And that isn’t even a hindsight is 20/20 situation, that trade was stupid in real time.

Hey, you sound like one of those “let’s give Donald Trump a chance because we don’t know what he’ll be like in office” people. Cool, I need Facebook news feed in more places.

Nice attempt at a straw man argument; show me where I demanded that he become an elite 3-point shooter. All I said was that he should’ve made…

On a related note though the T-Wolves suck and they should be doing much better because they have some serious young talent. I think Thibs is doing a bad coaching job with them thus far

Honestly, my interest in Nascar began to decrease ever since they introduced the Chase (all because Matt Kenseth won the Championship the year prior with one race win - something hardly anyone thought was an issue, except Nascar). Then they just kept changing, and changing, adding rules, making things more “equal” -…

The theoretical rationale (not mine) is that Blake Griffin isn’t really an ideal fit for the clippers. He can’t shoot 3s well despite having a strong mid-range jumper and on the many occasions he’s injured the team performs just as well without him as long as Chris Paul and Deandre Jordan are healthy. I think he’s an…

Good point, forgot about that.

Wait, you are a Bears fan that wants the Packers to win? #BitterVikingsFan

You’re kidding, right? This is quite clearly racist. Saying his wife is angry and argumentative because she is black is absolutely racist. Maybe you don’t think it’s offensive, but it’s racist.

“Congratulations, northern Californians: you officially have your own Browns—just without the #1 overall draft pick.”

That sounds like the beginning to a really shitty version of Zork.

Where’s Kermit Washington when you need him, amiright?

I think this might be the first time I have ever agreed with Paul Finebaum.

Maddon seemed like one of those wrestlers who very obviously was about to make a heelturn on his tag team partner. “Oh my God! Joe Maddon just hit Anthony Rizzo with a steel chair!”

Hey bud, from all of us here at the Deadspin comment section, go fuck yourself.

Pop 2016

Yay! After last week I feared this was gone forever! :)

Gallant is all jimmy hats and a ride home. Goofus is raw doggin and wont call you back. Goofus is the worst, his name is a trigger for everyone of a certain age.

It’s about as a public company as is the WWE.

Punch was not Orvil Dryfoos’ son. He was his brother-in-law.