Where’d you get that thing?

That was a cock-sucking call…

Can we be absolutely sure that he wasn’t? That the nine minute delay wasn’t while staff struggled to find someone he could fuck with instead of Fatty Arbuckle in Hanoi?

I was hoping for Julia Stiles’ tits!

We could explain this to you, but it will require a mathematician, a different kind of mathematician and a statistician…

That’s because our insect overlords don’t want you to find out the truth… Now, shut up and dig; you’re behind on today’s sugar quota.

At least the Shite House has some contacts in Moscow who might be able to put it out…

How long before we’re back to this?

Some other good Argentinian citizens…

Has Orlove been in touch with his lawyers yet for stealing his idea?

He needs no sympathy. Because he’s easy come, easy go…

Life had just begun… But now he’s gone and thrown it all away…

Live footage from the Oval Office…

They have a lot of guns to keep in working order…

Well, they’ve a lot of guns to keep in working order…

At least it’s an ethos…

No, we were hoping Phelps would bottle it at the last minute and they’d put Ryan Lochte in instead!