Let’s be honest Drew; they’re not the Muppets you impersonate, and you bloody well know it!

You mean Larry Johnson?

If this becomes a thing, I might have to get medieval on your heiney…

I wonder how long they thought aboot this…

He has only been in Doctor Who once, in the second half of “The Trial Of A Time Lord” as King Yrcanos. The story is broadcast as four episodes.

This is how you tell the Americans!

It’s not like he’s inviting people to a poker game in Montenegro or anything…

Well, having expelled the Awkward Squad from the party yesterday, Boris The Piffle now has 21 safe Tory seats to doll out to his assortment of lackeys, flying monkeys and sentient brown envelopes of cash! Only Fatty Soames and Ken Clarke have the level of cash and personal support to make an independent campaign…

Basically, the problem is that Jeremy – like a good little communist stooge – would be very happy if the Tories pulled off a no-deal Brexit, tanked the economy, put everyone out of a job and so ushered in the Workers’ Revolution. Then he can fly over to visit his GRU handlers and negotiate a deal between Moscow and his…

Still better than most of us…

It’s not pointless; it will preserve his name for all eternity.

Since the Fixed Term Government Act (2011), Parliament has to vote 2/3rds in favour of a snap election. So if Labour votes against it, any such motion fails.

Paradoxically, the election will only make Boris stronger, which is why he wants it…

“But with a proper Christian upbringing, they wouldn’t feel a need to resort to guns. They’d crucify their victims instead…”

I’m sensing a follow-up to his best seller about Marlon Bundo…

By comparison to the shit show in Puerto Rico, Britain had RFA Mounts Bay – an amphibious landing ship – loaded with water storage and purification units, first aid kits, hygiene supplies and survival kits crossing the Atlantic behind the hurricane, with a helicopter onboard to fly the supplies in and scout the island…

You’re a constitutionally-limited president who’s told he has no choice but to welcome a noted homophobe to your official residence, so what are you to do?

Just to put this in context…

You couldn’t be more wrong if you set out to write a PhD in wrongness!