Tell the rednecks that for every gun they keep, they’ll have to buy one for a black person…

Probably not the best argument to start when your wife is the only one around that Melania can look down on…

I seem to be having this tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle...

I’m sure Josh Duggar would have volunteered to help…

Putting on the Deadpool costume?

“Made-up alphabet”, Mr Achiever? There’s a large number of Scandinavians in reception who’d like a quiet word…

Or imagine if the family had some kind of private train, so they could get all the advantages of rail travel without having to worry about security?

Well, he’s got no reason to live! 

If you had a wig with those aerodynamics, you’d try to eliminate all wind too!

I’d only lose sleep if we were living in “Miri”!

The face of a guy who’s wife has a queue of guys forming while his car keys are sitting alone in the bowl!

Every time he goes off on one like this, I expect his speech to end “SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES!”

The only valid cereal choice is Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs…

Also known as “Cash’s Syndrome”…

It’s Europe; they shut down transmission. The UK/Ireland feed was attracting 2,000 viewers per day from a market of 72,000,000!

Do you have to use so many cuss words?

How long with a cattle prod do you reckon it took to stop him wanting to wave at her?

«realises the last car key in the bowl is his»

Not once the US government spends $50M re-doing it in the next 12 months!

April 2001.