Jesus, what’s he going to have to do to please you, forward you some 19th division Kazakh Over-90 soccer league bloopers?

Molitor “repeatedly instigated hostile conversations” with Mixon and his companions outside the cafe’s front door, his attorneys wrote in an answer to the lawsuit.

As a 150lb dude, nobody would blink twice if this guy knocked me the hell out after I hit him first. Despite his response still being “disproportionate” and despite him being “much bigger and stronger”.

Why did she hit him? Who started it?

10:1 she drives a 90s Nissan Altima with dents in every panel and curb rash on all 4 wheels. Based on my experience with their owners. If instead it was a male who did this, I would bet that he drove a Dodge Ram.

But judge...I swear I don’t drink. I was w/some friends, poured myself a diet coke from a jug, Yaya Yaya Yaya, now I’m here in court.

“Wow, was that MLS Cup final a garbage fire of a match,” is a Facebook status, not a blog post.

yeah those banks don’t care about your mortgage lol

Phil Jones: “I’m literally freezing my balls off.”

I think that’s actually how they make the F-350 King Ranch Edition.

He’s always just a Perkins waitress away from everything falling apart again.

True story: Greg Howard was in Slack one day and said pizza isn’t anything special and I wanted to kill him.

White male, grew up in the burbs and I’ve been pulled over for speeding,etc. probably about 2 dozen times. Every time the cop had the pistol strap undone and his hand on/near the pistol grip, though not drawn. Roddy White is not special.

Gronk: “What’s wrong with it?”

You better be wearing your black and white checkered Vans when you typed that, bruh. Because that was rad.

“Look, there’s Rikki, Tikki AND Tavvi!”

Mongooses used to be kick ass. Now they sell them at K-mart.

You mean a 11 1/2 month season involving games 6 days a week involving 3 leagues, non stop international dates, (with now a major tourney 3 out of 4 summers) more cups that I can count is too much?