I would be flattered and honoured.

Where the fuck are those indictments they keep telling us are on the way? Hurry the fuck up. I’m not sure how much more of this ceaseless torrent of dumbfuckery I can take.

Good Lord, they have both aged beautifully.

As I have written before, my daughter died when she was five in 2011, two months after being diagnosed with an inoperable and malignant brain tumor. There is no cure for her type of tumor - DIPG - and current treatments do little more than extend life for a few months.

She was still charged and served time, just not nearly long enough.

Helicopter parenting is bad and you can’t shelter them from bad stuff in the world too much but I feel like “I don’t want my children interacting with a known serial killer” is a fairly reasonable request?

It’s a terrible thing to admit, but I haven’t seen Mara in anything and yet she has STILL managed to put me off seeing Carol, despite Blanchett, great clothes etc.

Poor Rooney. She only has one emotion, and it’s apathy.

Rooney Mara kept it from greatness. Carol deserved better.

How many times have I heard the birds chirping outside my window? How many times have I felt the wind in my hair?

New Hampshire: Sorry We’re In The Way Of Getting To Maine.

New Hampshire’s state motto should be “New Hampshire: Just visit Vermont instead.”

Okay so, wow, you really can’t distinguish between someone putting out a visual and another person putting their hands on that thing? That’s like me saying, “hey, if you put that new car out in the driveway, you should have no problem with me taking a literal shit on it.”

Pompeii with Kit Harington. I’d just come off of maternity leave with my first son and wanted two hours in the dark by myself - and looking at a pretty man. God, that movie’s awful.

The amount of times I watched Eric Bana put on his armour in Troy was just shameful. So that has to be my pick.

“Our goal is to facilitate positive discussion among solution-oriented people who believe in the power of sharing ideas and personal connections.”

Me, defiantly:

Titled The Life of Kylie...

This is a beta-test for Ivanka’s national child-care program