Amazed by how there are 2 Mustangs and yet 0 crashed.

“That’s can’t possibly be our client: he hasn’t hit anyone all year.”

NFL doctors agree the two men are not suffering from concussions.

“I knocked both of these motherfuckers out! Both of them! They both sleep! Shut up before I knock your ass out next!”

Feaster is still employed by the school but will no longer be coaching the football team

Jared Kushner looks like the perfect, caring fiancé in a L&O SVU episode who is later revealed to have been kidnapping all those brunettes and dressing them up in his late mother’s clothes.

Pictured: Trump’s next secretary of labor nominee at his previous job.

English to Trump: See You Next Tuesday

from my vantage point, even one would be more than all her peers combined.

there have always been allegedly religious leaders who are far more interested in earthly power and imposing THEIR views on the rest of the world, and this particular brood of vipers has consciously gotten into bed with Donald Trump.

No the destruction of the country is the goal.

*nods* I, too, have always missed my shots at 69.

When I discovered there was a gap between my girlfriend’s bed and the wall- when I heard her father coming down the stairs

Brady is to sophisticated thinking as Hernandez was to peer mediation.

Are diamonds a carb?

I play on the PC, and the grind really got to me too. Then I met a man who had a minigun that sprayed bags of money. My enjoyment of the game increased significantly after that.

Mike Tomlin stands on an NFL football field during live play...you think he’s gonna be told where he can and can’t stand at a high school football game?