“They are officers that shouldn’t be in uniform,” Robert Mann, the victim’s brother, told the Sacramento Bee.

Here’s my current cop beef. There are good cops and bad cops, just like any other profession. The difference between them and other professions is the need to defend rather than disavow the bad ones. I’m a teacher and my first thought when I hear about something horrible a teacher did is that they have disgraced the…

Exactly what is needed. More association of Trump and sex.

The more I learn about her, the more I’m convinced that she is a liberal who has simply been playing a part in order to earn a super fat paycheck. Not that that makes it OK, but I think she’s going to come to our side in short time.

Sadly, he had no idea what to do when he reached third base

If I ever have a daughter, Liesl is my go to girl’s name and everyone I’ve ever shared this with seems to hate it. Whatevs, #lieslforever

What is this, a school bus for straws?!

“We consume 500 million straws each day. The equivalent of 127 school buses filled with straws. It’s disgusting, ” Adrian Grenier declares the minute I sit down, brandishing a plastic straw that the waiter had forgotten to remove. “There should be children in those school buses, going to school, to learn, not straws,”…

Sam Bee is not obligated to support your quixotic dream of remaking our democracy at the expense of our actual democracy.

“I’m sensitive and I’d like to stay that way.
But also, Ann Coulter’s a cunt.”

Jewel’s response is lovely:

The fruitarian way is the best way, that’s why Steve Jobs is still alive and healthy.

That is a great question. Thank you for asking.

My friend and I got kicked out of an aerobics class once. Apparently we were disruptive. In my defense, I was drunk.

This isn’t just “my universe” it is “your universe” too.

HIS BONER WAS JUST THAT IMPORTANT.

There’s better ways to get the attention of a girl you’re interested in.

At least you’re not knee-deep in some stagnant pond Lady-of-the-Lake-like, peering at your nude, chubby King Arthur and his canine Knight of the Roundtable, Sir Barksalot.

Now I, on the other hand, can find a story in just about anything. I once went to see a ballet production of Anne of Green Gables. The dancers were all in basic nude-ish looking leotard things, and it was all very modern dance-ish. But I gamely tried to follow the story and sort out which characters the dancers…