I broke my hand slapping my thigh, damnit.

Cocktorch Shepard.

My Smegma Shepard apparently didn't get any love, either.

Tokido Shepard?

I can only assume that by revealing your hand you are plotting something far more nefarious.

So instead of playing Super Mario Kart or Mario Kart 64, I was playing MegaRace, Wipeout, Extreme-G and Jet Moto. While my friends were forming two-man teams for Mario Kart Double Dash!!, I was playing... well, more Wipeout.

Seriously. This cover just screams Photoshop contest. Make it happen, Kotaku.

It's a part of life that will never go away, sir.

"Yess yess dahling, positively spaaaackling."

I posted two annotations, one to effect of your impression, and another regarding Pete Holmes. My conclusion is that this guy is an unholy combination of Patrick Stewart and Pete Holmes.

Also: less douchey Pete Holmes.

Yeah, cheekbones are also too high. But now that I think about it...

And during the game, with every volley, he was like "MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA!"

Young Patrick Stewart. The hair does wonders.

Just for you, my friend.

Feels like a lifetime ago.

Of course you would, Spike. I bet there's an AMV for Cowboy Bebop with this song in it.

An awkward make-up high-five will have to suffice. Cheers!