Makes sense that a Padre is trying to show his purple-headed monster to a friend.

Between Roberts and Bill Conlin, Deadspin has done a fabulous job covering happy endings for former sports writers.

That's a cute little Cessna, but after the delivery, mom is probably wishing she'd bought a hanger for her a few months ago.

"She is rather large and we're going keep her overnight for observation, but I see no reason to say that your daughter can't someday shop at Wal-Mart in a giant fucking Tweety Bird t-shirt."

Instead of snarking each other, the Sharks and ESPN should focus on what they have in common. For example, making an embarrassment of themselves whenever they get involved in words ending with -layoffs.

"I'VE GOT A MOCHA FOR 'STICKY PETER.' IS THERE A STICKY PETER HERE?"

I'm impressed. Having a shirt like that requires a lot of spunk.

Hey everyone, get a load of this guy!

[Bear watches crazy blonde woman make a fool of herself in front of TV camera]

Did he at least get credit for the hold?

There are neither photos nor video of the pissbombing

#yousawanamyonce

He's right, though. The moustache does make it look like he's spent time in minors.

"OK OK OK. This, I get."

Please accept these blankets as a measure of our deepest apologies.

Some traditional American Indian singing and dancing outside the stadium is a nice tribute, but scalping is blatantly offensive.

In one final move, he was transferred to the PUP list.

Because of his extensive knowledge in the area, the Yankees are consulting with A-Rod on how to chose a replacement Lab.

I doubt Jay Bruce is the only person in that photo who has two first names.

He should consider himself lucky; that's the first time someone's had a gun on him in three years.