Albert, did they teach you in law school that verbal contracts were non-binding?  If so, you might want to get your money back.

I, too, have gotten rich by not investigating the value of things I buy and accidentally overspending by nearly half a million dollars on a single purchase.

Clearly someone should have bought you a new house.

but at least Zhao’s largesse saved Brand from making the [checks notes] 12-mile commute to work.

No mention if he hit anyone with the chair. It’s the Mets so I am assuming he missed....

Funny how terrified of ~3% of the population you idiots are.

 Nobody cares that you're scared of Jews and brown people. 

Soccer cow did what she cud do.

She really is an udder delight.

Do the right thing, Spike!

James Dolan was born on third, meandered back to second and yelled “TOUCHDOWN!”

I never want to hear about the NBA having the greatest fans on Earth when none of them have tried to murder James Dolan.

Ya Gotta Bereave!

How long before some hipster craft brewery makes a limited edition IPA called “Julius Randle with Hops”?

it’s worth remembering that hugging or otherwise touching a stranger without their permission is totally uncool

To paraphrase Margaret Atwood for the 1000th time: “Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them.”

Nothing screams contrition like a backward hat and chewing gum.

Absolutely. But such logic cannot possibly be why these players refused comment to Deadspin. No, of course not :-/

Man, these guys really won’t defend anything.

Meanwhile, the reinvented Phillies have managed to completely implode two months earlier than last year, with a much higher payroll. Progress!