I feel like we time traveled back to 1989 to watch Rob Lowe manhandle this bird.

Mutual Friend Jason Bateman is what should be on his birth certificate. His entire essence is Mutual Friend Jason Bateman.

No offense, Stanley, but I think you’re more of a Nick Nolte than a George Clooney.

Like what level of rich is banging a tennis coach? Because I want to get there, that or a ski instructor...

I’d be more convinced if this were the “double creature”.

Stealing someone else’s skyline is far more embarrassing than acknowledging you don’t actually have one like Green Bay does.

I think thats a low blow to Albuquerque.

I start out telling them about how when I was in high school, I saw MJD and Marcedes Lewis play against each other at the Los Angeles California Angels of Anaheim of Disneyland Stadium for the CIF championship.

Jon Snow IS dead. So no one is lying there.

So many hot takes in the gray to read so little time.

three different people responded “indubitably” within a minute of each other good hustle guys

I don’t get it. I though everybody shit in the living room when they break in a house. Am I doing it wrong?

And we have our winner! Congratulations, you win the White Tears Award for the 21st of July, 2015. Competition was stiff, but you truly went to the next level. Enjoy your box of tissues.

I wish I could relate. But the leather seats in my Mercedes are so comfortable. -David Brooks

Anchovies are best salted and cured (like bacon!), whereas oysters are best fresh out of the sea, consumed raw, steamed, or grilled, etc.

I have a very sincere question. Is this article for real, real? I went to the original story and it looks real. But it reads so much like satire.

canned anchovies are perfect for making caesar dressing, while canned oysters are pointless.

I gotta be honest, if all annoying bridesmaid/groomsman dance entrances ended in a hilariously tragic fall, I’d go to more weddings.

Wait ‘til we get to the Bengals...yikes

If Drew would have skipped the Titans I don’t think anyone would have noticed