Wait a minute. You people would rather watch a drunk girl cry than ignore a phone call? I love ignoring phone calls! It is my favorite pasttime.

I feel like "Attending Other People's Weddings" needs two spots, one with open bar and one without.

You fuckers better not vote for babies :/

We must let it go. Instead let's just marry Oreos. Mmmm.

My dog has tons of secrets, mostly in regards to where in the house he has hidden his poop.

But the pubic hair and nipples weren't what made those photos so fucking creepy. It was the clearly gross male gaze that they were shot with (Looking at you, Uncle Terry!).

The way her lip moves after the hotdogs hit mesmerizes me.

I can't say I was all that impressed by the first season. The acting was very good as was the atmosphere. And while the two lead characters were well written and the rest of the characters as well as the general story weren't anything special. And the ending reminded me of Twin Peak with a giant build up hinting at a…

A classic but ... colossal? Or merely a shitload?

I'm more appalled with the gratitiuous violence and think we should replace all those scenes with more orgies.

I work very close to a tower of dicks...

I have written "Just leave the food in the hallway" in the special instructions section of Seamless. And, God bless them, they did. Because I was too involved in hungover binge watching Netflix to put pants on and meet the delivery guy. If I have to choose between Seamless and Netflix, my heart is going to hurt.

IF FILTHY FANFICTION DOES NOT WIN I WILL NO LONGER BE FRIEND WITH ANY OF YOU!

Had to google Eggplant Friday. Am now feeling many things.

Fan fiction better not lose, you guys. Gawker Media already killed FFF- Fan fiction losing the prelims would be spitting on the grave.

I'm obviously an old because I don't know what half these things are. (We also established earlier that I'm kind of dumb, so maybe that's related?)

Did they include a tiny little hanger with the glitter?