Question zero: What’s with all the slideshows and videos? Is it 2007 all over again?

This is quite a Tinder profile.

Well, it was his second call.

“WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT ISHTAR?”

The Rock is also huge with kids. He is shockingly good (as is Jack Black) in the new Jumanji movies. (Like, “wait, this is the same guy as in those other movies?!” good.)

The passage of time was always going to make him irrelevant, as he was making movies just moments before high quality video cameras were built into everyone’s phones.

His Gen X audience needed him as an example, but subsequent generations never would.

The world is full of people whom time has passed by who seethe about…

She was really traumatized by what happened with her friends Luke and Matt.

Alternately, he’s in his 50s, had some scary health moments, has an improbably good life, including a kid he dotes on, a wife he knows is too good for him, friends and fans.

If he’s reached an age where his ambition is just making that core group happy, I’m not sure I can fault that.

I think they have a big cast and they’re going to be happy to shove almost everyone other than the core boys and Eleven into a woodchipper as a way of showing the stakes throughout the final season.

If she lives, she’s going off to college and meeting someone who’s interested in doing something with their lives, which is who she is. Neither Jonathan nor Steve show any evidence of being that person.

She’ll be friends with them on Facebook, but she shouldn’t be tethered to either of them.

Yeah, I’m not sure if I’m supposed to feel bad for the well-paid entertainment lawyers who fucked up here. Can they both lose somehow?

The same arguments can be made about a number of the Sergio Leone films. Sometimes, being the best of a so-so breed is enough to make you a classic.

Damn it, I’m not happy that this sounds so interesting.

You are confusing the high quality Westerns we love today with the shovelware garbage that filled theaters in the 1950s. They were absolutely not character driven or slow -- lots of train robberies, midday shootouts and killing native Americans.

Nancy, if she lives, deserves to go off to college and meet someone better than either of these two dudes -- both of whom seem likely to die next season anyway.

Yeah, I’m similarly stumped. “Animated anthology show” is as far as I can get while still clearly being a Stranger Things spin-off.

If we’re getting 1,000% away from the main show, that presumably means it’s not set in the 1980s, not revolving around Hawkins Lab or Hawkins, Illinois, and we know it’s not revolving…

They just mean we won’t see the hobbits defeat Sauruman and Wormtongue at home, thematically closing the loop of becoming a mature civilization capable of standing on its own shoulder to shoulder with the elves, dwarves, Rohan and Gondor.

It’s like the Duffers never really understood Lord of the Rings at all.

I think a better comparison is Westerns, which were everywhere for several decades, and we rightly can’t remember most of them.

But we also got some amazing movies out of it that we do remember and, in later waves, reactions to those films that are arguably even better.

No one is going to remember Thor: Dark World (we…

Captain America has aged well in memory, though, since the character ended up being the most compelling of the first part of the MCU era. But a runaway blockbuster hit, it was not.

It is what the audience wants. That audience isn’t just the American audience, though, which is a minority of the audience for many films now.

It’s a lot easier and more cost effective to make big films that almost everyone around the world can see than to try to do a lot of small targeted projects and just write off…

Look, Subway, I would definitely prefer to go to Quizno’s instead of you. But pretending to be Quizno’s isn’t going to fool me into coming in, since I can still just go to Quizno’s instead.