If I could gift my fertility, I would send it to you wrapped with a pretty bow.

Britta for the win!

He named his children after two people who were fucking each other?

DeactivatedFatGirl—call me. Because we need to go to karoke or something. This is marvelous.

I want more articles like this. To be honest, I was a bit too tired to read all of it, but it seemed well-written, and not all "teehee, I'm snarky!" like Dirtbag/other stuff can be. It's amusing sometimes, but a lot of it is eyeroll-worthy.

Honestly, this was super impressive. Damn, Tracie.

This was brilliantly written. Bets on how long until Tracie is headhunted from Jezebel? This was probably one of the best researched and articulated stories I've read on here and that's being said by someone who has been reading Jez since its beginnings.

Yeah, Jezebel has a Jewish problem. I mean, I`ve seen the comments you`re referring to and while they are (thankfully) in the minority, the powers that be allow them to stay posted, which gives them legitimacy they don`t deserve.

I'll see yours, and raise you Star Wars.

Welp, time to play another game of "Can I avoid this but also kind of get all the jokes about it?" (I'm doing pretty well; I still don't think I've ever heard "Blurred Lines" all the way through.)

SPOILERS FOR MOCKINGJAY AHEAD!

As a Jewish person, I am so sick of our people being dragged into this shit. Just leave us out.

Turkey (basted and roasted, not deep-fried), bread-based stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes (steamed or mashed), gravy, homemade cranberry sauce and then some of the following vegetables (roasted, steamed or baked): brussel sprouts, green beans, carrots, acorn squash, spinach.

She'd probably enjoy that. Girl eats like a horse and enjoys her regularity.

As someone who was immediately psyched about Jena Malone getting cast in Catching Fire, I'm loving watching the entire internet eat crow on this one.

The World DivaCup

PEOPLE, DO YOU EVEN JON HAMM?

I feel you Terrence. That's just like the time that I shot down Jon Hamm and George Clooney in the same night. They'll probably tell you it didn't happen, but I can tell when a guy orders his security to remove the sexiest bitch in the bar because he can't trust himself around her. It's hard out there for a…

Wow, I wish I'd thought of that before making a joke with that exact thing as the unstated punchline.

AH HA HA. SOMEONE CANT TAKE A JOKE.