MY PET ROCK RECENTLY DIED AND I REALLY TAKE OFFENSE TO YOUR COMMENT.

Ah. So the Michael-Scott-declaring-BANKRUPTCY! version of citizenship renunciation.

But did he shoot first? Have we established that as fact?

HAN SOLO WOULD NEVER BEHAVE THIS WAY

Judge decides Han really did shoot first, orders Lucas to surrender remaining sliver of chin.

I wouldn’t put it past him. We all saw him straight-up murder someone in a bar.

Sometimes I read her name as Han Solo before I read it the right way.

It’s probably a little PTSD from all of the Halloween stores around right now.

I feel a strong kinship with the girl in the lower right corner, eating soft serve and being ignored.

I really can’t believe that our young people have so little self-respect that they’d be willing to just sit there and freely admit they’d gone to a Diamondbacks-Rockies game in September.

I was so excited I grabbed a can of Pledge and a dusting cloth!

Jessidecaf Biel
James Bean
Brew Berrymore
Leonardo DiCappuchino
Johnny Drip

Are you like a professional anti-comedian or something?

IVY LYNN 4EVER

I have this movie to thank for one of the most magical moments of my childhood. My mom flat out refused to take me and my sister to see it because she didn’t want to sit through something so stupid (fair enough...) We begged and begged, to no avail. Then one day our super cool aunts took us in the car, refused to tell…

She was an absolutely phenomenal musician who unfortunately became easy tabloid fodder as a result of her addiction issues. Being so young with so, so much pressure and irrepressible talent made her a fascinating figure, and also an easy target. So much of society gets a sick satisfaction out of watching people fail,…

she told Glamour that Julie Bowen knew and was very supportive of her decision.

Ya, but if we’re going down this road, then Martha would beat them both. She is the original and still the queen of lifestyle improvement through quirky crafting and tablescapes. Besides, she’s been to jail! Can you imagine?! Not only would Martha teach you how to make a shiv but she’d also show you how to pretty it…

Did Iggy win tho? Like. If I step on an ant, does that make me a warrior, or just an asshole who steps on ants?