Or a commenter version, see if people's faces match their online personas.

How do you get Dairy Queened from a tournament?

That awkward moment when you want to cosign Jojo but you are married to your BED and pregnant with CHICKEN TENDERS.

Three tweets about being totally fine that your ex is married and having a baby? Sporadic use of ALL CAPS?

i hate no person on this planet, real or fiction, more than i hate President Fucking Fitzgerald Fucking Grant.

What were my parents thinking?

YOUR JACKET THO

My youngest wrote something in this vein for his poetry unit.

I cannot wait for her inauguration poem for President Trump: “On the Pulse of the oh God Where is the Pulse.”

Hulk’s not gonna like that...

He’s from Long Island so I am having a hard time not picturing the Vinny Bagadonuts Fuggeddaboutit greasy archetype in my mind.

That stretch of Almeda is like a dragstrip at night. It’s dim, it’s fairly straight, and people book it 20+ mph over the limit regularly when HPD aren’t cruising. Once the drivers would have seen her in their headlights, they wouldn’t have been able to avoid her. Just a really messed up situation all around.

This is a beautiful, compassionate, and empathetic response. I too hope he can honor her heroic memory by getting the help he needs, and then maybe help others. Would be a dignified and worthy tribute to her brave and loving act.

I don’t know if I could ever drive at night again if I’d accidentally hit and killed someone, be it the boyfriend who wanted to die or the girlfriend who tried to save them.

When people commit suicide by train, the conductor gets two weeks paid leave and counseling. I hope these people can also get therapy if they need it- it wasn't their fault, but the survivors guilt doesn't make that easy to accept.

Dear god. My first reaction is to be disgusted with the boyfriend - but depression, suicidal tendencies, and addiction (which I assume is included here given his intoxicated state) are serious issues and I’m not sure that’s the right route. I do hope he gets help, though it’s going to be an extremely hard battle now…

Damn! Back to the store!

You might consider adding some avocados.

I’m making guacamole today, ‘yall. No peas! Salt, pepper, lime juice. That’s it.